THURSDAY, JULY 9th
You know, right now I am in my room feeling bored with too much free time and not much freedom to go around and about, doing the thing that I wanna do.
Which is diving. Or playing on the beach. Or plain sight seeing.
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I've been working for four days straight after swapping rosters with a few friends. Tiring of course but I said to myself that all of these will be forgotten once I got on/in the water. My off days starts from Wednesday until Friday. Now, it's Thursday and I am in my room typing this entry. I woke up around 6 because I slept early yesterday. Imagine the long boredom from then on.
Basically, something came up and my instructor/friend was unable to bring me for our usual dive trip. Disappointed of course I am, especially when I am looking forward for this all week and changed things around to accommodate. Yet, it's unfair to blame him for the sudden change of plan - the thing that he has to do is quite important and he just has to attend to it.
But I cannot conceal the fact that I do feel angry and disappointed. Planning all week, working hard, anticipating with such enthusiasm... Only to be met with this. Arghhh!!! The wasted days and energy - thinking about this really made my blood boil. I really feel so disappointed when my efforts came to this - futile end.
But what can I do.....
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This is the problem when you are dependent on people to do things. Which is what I am doing here.
I need people to bring me around town - when I am bored and need to go out, when I want to buy things. And this can really bother me sometimes especially when people are busy or have matters to attend to. While in fact I can go out on my own by taxi or using the scheduled hospital bus... I just don't dare. Never do I ever feel safe in this place and which is why I have not even once went out on my own.
I was telling to myself that I can go to the beach by myself if I can drive there. Even if it is not to dive, I may just snorkel or have a bath.
I guess I'll do this when I go back home. I have my own car, my own time and I'll go to the beach as I like. All in the comfort and security of dear hometown of Sarawak.
Really can't wait to go home.
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FRIDAY, JULY 10th
The frustration and disappointment about the plan that went astray didn't escape me. All that went about on my mind was the wasted time that I could have just spent underwater or on the beach - especially this summer where heat is scorching.
I guess there will be sometime when I am competent and experienced enough to do my own dive. With a friend or two - or even on my own. Yes, I am well aware that it's not advisable to go own your own. But I feel strongly that somehow I'll do this anyway. Timing and incompatibility with a dive partner may hamper a plan. For people like me who love this sort of activity very much - I am sure that it will be hard to find a partner that share the same passion. But if I do, I am very grateful for that.
Trust me when I say that I am thinking of getting a job that enables me to do more during my free time and that can afford me off days during the weekends. So much that I plan to do. Diving one of it - learning the violin or attending language/writing classes are some of the other.
So much that I believe in this that I have not applied any job at all until I came home. Why? I am just tired of jobs that took too much of my personal time.
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I emailed a local Dive Instructor about my interest in joining any incoming dive activities in Kuching upon returning home. Since I know nobody at home that dive, I thought this will be a good thing to do. I mean, if I don't know the place and have nobody to dive with (at least until I am good enough) - it will be hard for me to keep on diving.
By far, Sarawak in general is not a place known well enough as having great dive sites. I do found this statement as funny and questionable since Sarawak is one big state with long stretches of costal borders. My guess is that it is yet to be found and explored. The ones that are famous right now is the Talang-Talang Island and somewhere near Sematan. We do have shipwrecks dating back to World War II - two in fact if I can remember with one of it being a sunken Japanese ship. And then there's Miri. Where's the rest? I sincerely believe that people have not dived far and frequent enough in our waters. The South China Sea is well known as one of the most abundant in marine life - and yet that's where Sarawak lies.
But I am not worried. Malaysia is blessed with so many dive sites that are spectacular in life forms and beauty. Not just Sipadan or Mabul alone - there are just countless others in Peninsular Malaysia. Wait until I go to all of them.
I guess I'll do my advanced training at home also. What will it be is something that I don't plan at the moment. Let my discovery and experience decide.
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Out of frustration yesterday, I bought a Terra Cotta home fragrance burner to relax and be mesmerised in the senses. Bought the burner, candles and perfume oil from Body Shop. Right now, my room is filled with something by the name of 'Tobacco Flower'.
And in another note, I am deeply in love with a song by Tiziano Ferro, featuring Kelly Rowland by the name of "Breathe Gentle". Saw in a some satellite TV programme and been listening to it almost all the time ever since. If you can get it, I highly recommend you guys to have a listen.
I really love it.
breathe gentle, breathe gentle.... oh... oh... oh... oooo.......
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