A few days back, I was caught off guard in a relationship problem that somehow included me as the dreaded third person. Yes, that person.
It was complex. It was confusing. It came to be so bad that the couple had an emotional break-up soon after. All of these happened in a flash, I was totally unaware of the fragility of the situation. Much more, I had no knowledge that I can be such a trigger. A very big 'wow' for me.
I wish I could have explained the story in more detail but I need to respect the privacy of those involved. I can only tell so far as to my side of the tale.
First things first, I have nothing at all with the girl. She is just a friend and I keep it that way. I do admit that she was very friendly - which I guess is attributed to her open minded and socially approachable-easy attitude (to some extent, I am one of the few). We talked a lot about our work and of other things like family, life experiences and the lot. But nothing beyond that. She is a good friend and I don't want to take the risk of ruining this bond due to some fling. Again there was no feeling.
And as for him... He is a good friend of mine. I knew him just recently but somehow we clicked fast. I guess that's because we share the same passion. It is through him that I explore that same interest. And of how grateful I am that I am able to do those things that I enjoy with someone who had the same degree of love as I am. Yup, he is one of those precious friend that is hard to find.
I guess there was a misunderstanding of his part, thinking that I have something special with her. Now, I dunno whether I should be blamed either because I showed some level of closeness with her, even if just in a friendly way. I know I should be more cautious. But then again, I was not aware there was something between the two. Both of them didn't attest to me that they have a connection. For whatever reason it is, they want it to be secret. I totally understand that.
When the chaos broke out, it came like a silent storm. I was with him when they had an argument on the phone. I had no idea not until the time when she called me and demand answers of what I told to him: thinking that I have said something very wrong. My mind was kinda blank at the time. I was in the intersection of a crisis between two very dear friends. All that I could think of at the time was losing these two people.
He was so cool, no hint of anger or frustration. But I can feel that thick jealousy and rage. Yet, there I was in front of him - in that very vulnerable situation. Will I be a punching bag? Will there be a verbal assault? Will I still live on?
I took me two times to explain the whole thing. The first time, right away when she called me. Not the best of moment I guess when all parties (sans me) is heavily, emotionally unstable. It took me about 5 more hours before I had the courage to speak up with him and tried to clear all these cloud. Much better I guess when all of the heat has cooled down.
And for her part, I called her twice after the incident - telling her what me and him had discussed. All the while being neutral, not taking sides. I know that both of them were very hurt of the incident, all that I can do at the time was trying to calm their nerves and clear any misunderstandings. Beyond that, there is nothing I can do. This is a matter between the two.
Last that I heard, they had a talk over the phone on the same day later that evening. She sounded more cheerful - laughing even. I asked if they are back again, "sorta, kinda... I don't know" was what she told me.
Exactly, that's what I wanna hear.
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I feel very confused.
For one, I always feel that I am not that kind of man of which one would regard as masculine. Nor do I act sissy-ish though. There is this long hair, but it is more of a style preference (or does this hair thing makes me kinda Fabio like?). Much less the one that posses the charm to mesmerize a woman (in fact, I almost puked typing that last sentence). All this while I regard myself as a 'Girl's Best Friend' kinda guy - one where you could talk with without having the chemistry.
When I discovered that I had the capability to almost broke a relationship, I am speechless. Am I really that 'Good'? Was I such a threat to another man that he became so jealous?
Really, people.
Anyway, this has been a tough lesson to me. From now on, I will be cautious with whom I am intimate or friendly with. Even if in this case, I did not at all, directly became the cause of the problem. Enough is enough. I almost lost two great friends.
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If you two are reading this, I am sorry if what I did had offended any of you. Had no intention, was unaware if anything I did was unjustifiable. I like you guys and I hope this will not change anything about our friendship.
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