life is a flower

Saturday, 11 July 2009

  • breathe gentle


    THURSDAY, JULY 9th


    You know, right now I am in my room feeling bored with too much free time and not much freedom to go around and about, doing the thing that I wanna do.

    Which is diving. Or playing on the beach. Or plain sight seeing.

    ---------------

    I've been working for four days straight after swapping rosters with a few friends. Tiring of course but I said to myself that all of these will be forgotten once I got on/in the water. My off days starts from Wednesday until Friday. Now, it's Thursday and I am in my room typing this entry. I woke up around 6 because I slept early yesterday. Imagine the long boredom from then on.

    Basically, something came up and my instructor/friend was unable to bring me for our usual dive trip. Disappointed of course I am, especially when I am looking forward for this all week and changed things around to accommodate. Yet, it's unfair to blame him for the sudden change of plan - the thing that he has to do is quite important and he just has to attend to it.

    But I cannot conceal the fact that I do feel angry and disappointed. Planning all week, working hard, anticipating with such enthusiasm... Only to be met with this. Arghhh!!! The wasted days and energy - thinking about this really made my blood boil. I really feel so disappointed when my efforts came to this - futile end.

    But what can I do.....

    -----------------

    This is the problem when you are dependent on people to do things. Which is what I am doing here.

    I need people to bring me around town - when I am bored and need to go out, when I want to buy things. And this can really bother me sometimes especially when people are busy or have matters to attend to. While in fact I can go out on my own by taxi or using the scheduled hospital bus... I just don't dare. Never do I ever feel safe in this place and which is why I have not even once went out on my own.

    I was telling to myself that I can go to the beach by myself if I can drive there. Even if it is not to dive, I may just snorkel or have a bath.

    I guess I'll do this when I go back home. I have my own car, my own time and I'll go to the beach as I like. All in the comfort and security of dear hometown of Sarawak.

    Really can't wait to go home.

    ----------------


    FRIDAY, JULY 10th

    The frustration and disappointment about the plan that went astray didn't escape me. All that went about on my mind was the wasted time that I could have just spent underwater or on the beach - especially this summer where heat is scorching.

    I guess there will be sometime when I am competent and experienced enough to do my own dive. With a friend or two - or even on my own. Yes, I am well aware that it's not advisable to go own your own. But I feel strongly that somehow I'll do this anyway. Timing and incompatibility with a dive partner may hamper a plan. For people like me who love this sort of activity very much - I am sure that it will be hard to find a partner that share the same passion. But if I do, I am very grateful for that.

    Trust me when I say that I am thinking of getting a job that enables me to do more during my free time and that can afford me off days during the weekends. So much that I plan to do. Diving one of it - learning the violin or attending language/writing classes are some of the other.

    So much that I believe in this that I have not applied any job at all until I came home. Why? I am just tired of jobs that took too much of my personal time.

    ---------

    I emailed a local Dive Instructor about my interest in joining any incoming dive activities in Kuching upon returning home. Since I know nobody at home that dive, I thought this will be a good thing to do. I mean, if I don't know the place and have nobody to dive with (at least until I am good enough) - it will be hard for me to keep on diving.

    By far, Sarawak in general is not a place known well enough as having great dive sites. I do found this statement as funny and questionable since Sarawak is one big state with long stretches of costal borders. My guess is that it is yet to be found and explored. The ones that are famous right now is the Talang-Talang Island and somewhere near Sematan. We do have shipwrecks dating back to World War II - two in fact if I can remember with one of it being a sunken Japanese ship. And then there's Miri. Where's the rest? I sincerely believe that people have not dived far and frequent enough in our waters. The South China Sea is well known as one of the most abundant in marine life - and yet that's where Sarawak lies.

    But I am not worried. Malaysia is blessed with so many dive sites that are spectacular in life forms and beauty. Not just Sipadan or Mabul alone - there are just countless others in Peninsular Malaysia. Wait until I go to all of them.

    I guess I'll do my advanced training at home also. What will it be is something that I don't plan at the moment. Let my discovery and experience decide.


    ----------

    Out of frustration yesterday, I bought a Terra Cotta home fragrance burner to relax and be mesmerised in the senses. Bought the burner, candles and perfume oil from Body Shop. Right now, my room is filled with something by the name of 'Tobacco Flower'.



    And in another note, I am deeply in love with a song by Tiziano Ferro, featuring Kelly Rowland by the name of "Breathe Gentle". Saw in a some satellite TV programme and been listening to it almost all the time ever since. If you can get it, I highly recommend you guys to have a listen.

    I really love it.

    breathe gentle, breathe gentle.... oh... oh... oh... oooo.......


Friday, 03 July 2009

  • my new passion


    One more month to go before I say farewell to this place.

    Happy to say that I spend most of my weekends scuba diving in the Red Sea with my instructor. And night snorkeling. I just love it. The sea, the corals and the feeling of floating underwater. In fact, the initial fear of depth, suffocation and marine animals slowly fade away. Now it is curiosity and excitement that drives me in. I wanna dive more, longer and in other places!!!

    It is no doubt then, that scuba diving has been a passion of mine. In addition to writing, photography and playing the violin (yes, I can't honestly say that I play it since I left this many, many years back - but I shall play again).

    There are feelings of hesitation for me to depart from Tabuk , much more now that I had discovered diving. The Red Sea is one of the most beautiful places and I am anxious to know more of it. So is it the possibility of diving somewhere else in Egypt, Jordan or anywhere else my dive instructor might bring me. Or the knowledge that I shall learn from him if I stay longer. However, I've made up my mind to return home and enjoy my life there with dear family. My plan for career advancement and my decision to explore other passions of my life (notably writing and violin) are one of the drives.

    However, I shall continue diving even when I come back to Malaysia.

    I searched for local dive clubs and Dive Instructors that may offer courses beyond what I have at the moment. Most importantly, I want somebody to dive with!!! I have gone beyond that and searched for dive sites around the nation. Malaysia my dear, is blessed with tons of these. There's Tioman, Redand, Langkawi, Perhentian, Mabul, Layang-layang and Sipadan - among the many. Even in my state of Sarawak there are surprisingly many of these - including a number of ship wrecks. Don't you love it when your country is surrounded by the ocean?

    And another thing - I can't wait to plan my dive with cool buddies. Me and my car, tanks and stuff in the back. Camping on the beach before our planned dive at night or the day after. Having your own transport and doing it at your own time and liking is what I am waiting the most.

    All that I can say, I have turned into an outdoor person.




Saturday, 20 June 2009

  • beautiful earth


    I have always been a landscape photographer for long.

    True, natural beauty of the wild really intrigues me. Blue skies, mountain range, sunsets, long stretches of land, flowers and inanimate objects of the natural world have became the subject of my fascination ever since I had my first camera. So, it comes to no surprise that my best photos came from these subjects.

     
    Rocky, mountainous formation that was abundant in number along the landscape of Saudi Arabia.
    This one was part of the hill that form the enclosing stretch near the our dive site. The distinguishing
    and prominent marks of the eroded stones caught my attention well enough to capture this shot.


     
    Beach marbles near the shores of Maqna, 300km away from Tabuk. Virgin shores of the Red Sea
    and it's exotic coral life is one of the best things that I love about the place.



    Beautiful ain't it? This is the view from the our dive stop, taken an hour before the summer sunset sets in.



    This was me, against the mirror. Turning it into mono made it morre dramatic and artsy than its original.



    Quite probably, my most beautiful black-and-white landscape shot so far. Everything else, except maybe
    the hues of the skies, turned out the way I dreamt it to be.


     
    A stop at the fuel station, not to refuel but to buy ice cream instead!!!



    8 o'clock summer sunset, would you believe it. Egypt is that other side beyond the Red Sea.



    Sunset of Duba, taken before our evening tea (at 7 pm!!!). I love the skies and the reflection on the water.

    -----------------------

    Sadly, my underwater photography still sucks. When I get better, I'll post them for your viewing.

    In any way, enjoy the shots!!!


Sunday, 14 June 2009

  • being the third person


    A few days back, I was caught off guard in a relationship problem that somehow included me as the dreaded third person. Yes, that person.

    It was complex. It was confusing. It came to be so bad that the couple had an emotional break-up soon after. All of these happened in a flash, I was totally unaware of the fragility of the situation. Much more, I had no knowledge that I can be such a trigger. A very big 'wow' for me.

    I wish I could have explained the story in more detail but I need to respect the privacy of those involved. I can only tell so far as to my side of the tale.

    First things first, I have nothing at all with the girl. She is just a friend and I keep it that way. I do admit that she was very friendly - which I guess is attributed to her open minded and socially approachable-easy attitude (to some extent, I am one of the few). We talked a lot about our work and of other things like family, life experiences and the lot. But nothing beyond that. She is a good friend and I don't want to take the risk of ruining this bond due to some fling. Again there was no feeling.

    And as for him... He is a good friend of mine. I knew him just recently but somehow we clicked fast. I guess that's because we share the same passion. It is through him that I explore that same interest. And of how grateful I am that I am able to do those things that I enjoy with someone who had the same degree of love as I am. Yup, he is one of those precious friend that is hard to find.

    I guess there was a misunderstanding of his part, thinking that I have something special with her. Now, I dunno whether I should be blamed either because I showed some level of closeness with her, even if just in a friendly way. I know I should be more cautious. But then again, I was not aware there was something between the two. Both of them didn't attest to me that they have a connection. For whatever reason it is, they want it to be secret. I totally understand that.

    When the chaos broke out, it came like a silent storm. I was with him when they had an argument on the phone. I had no idea not until the time when she called me and demand answers of what I told to him: thinking that I have said something very wrong. My mind was kinda blank at the time. I was in the intersection of a crisis between two very dear friends. All that I could think of at the time was losing these two people.

    He was so cool, no hint of anger or frustration. But I can feel that thick jealousy and rage. Yet, there I was in front of him - in that very vulnerable situation. Will I be a punching bag? Will there be a verbal assault? Will I still live on?

    I took me two times to explain the whole thing. The first time, right away when she called me. Not the best of moment I guess when all parties (sans me) is heavily, emotionally unstable. It took me about 5 more hours before I had the courage to speak up with him and tried to clear all these cloud. Much better I guess when all of the heat has cooled down.

    And for her part, I called her twice after the incident - telling her what me and him had discussed. All the while being neutral, not taking sides. I know that both of them were very hurt of the incident, all that I can do at the time was trying to calm their nerves and clear any misunderstandings. Beyond that, there is nothing I can do. This is a matter between the two.

    Last that I heard, they had a talk over the phone on the same day later that evening. She sounded more cheerful - laughing even. I asked if they are back again, "sorta, kinda... I don't know" was what she told me.

    Exactly, that's what I wanna hear.



    ---------------------------------


    I feel very confused.

    For one, I always feel that I am not that kind of man of which one would regard as masculine. Nor do I act sissy-ish though. There is this long hair, but it is more of a style preference (or does this hair thing makes me kinda Fabio like?). Much less the one that posses the charm to mesmerize a woman (in fact, I almost puked typing that last sentence). All this while I regard myself as a 'Girl's Best Friend' kinda guy - one where you could talk with without having the chemistry.

    When I discovered that I had the capability to almost broke a relationship, I am speechless. Am I really that 'Good'? Was I such a threat to another man that he became so jealous?

    Really, people.

    Anyway, this has been a tough lesson to me. From now on, I will be cautious with whom I am intimate or friendly with. Even if in this case, I did not at all, directly became the cause of the problem. Enough is enough. I almost lost two great friends.

    --------------------------------

    If you two are reading this, I am sorry if what I did had offended any of you. Had no intention, was unaware if anything I did was unjustifiable. I like you guys and I hope this will not change anything about our friendship.

Monday, 08 June 2009

  • my first dive


    I had my first dive last week.

    My first open water dive, in the beautiful Red Sea. How many people can claim that they dived in the famous, biblically mentioned body of water?



    Never thought I would have don that mask and went down under.

    My dive instructor took me to the real environment as part of my Open Water training experience. After two weeks of intensive pool and classroom theories, it was finally time to hit it off. I was mostly excited and partially nervous. It's time to take all of those knowledge and skills to test - in a real world setting, where the condition was totally different.


    My dive instructor, Mr Majed - a Saudi who taught me very, very
    well about diving. If it was not for him, I would have not discover
    this world and this passion.

    Basically, we had a review of all the skills in the pool and did it in the open. All in all it was basically the same. What I found really weird is my buoyancy. I literally cannot sink as good as it was in the pool. When I first entered the water, I was either so heavy or the weights was not enough. So bad, I came out of the water to add more weights - and still had the same difficulty (though less). It could have been that the salinity of the sea makes a great difference to how much/less you may float/sink. As for me, I am a floater - be it in the pool, river or the ocean. By the time that I wanted to go down easier, I told my instructor that I rather dive headfirst and swim to the bottom anyway. That has always been my style ever since.


    This is what I call as the loop-sided float. I love doing this,
    especially when peeking through creeks and holes within the
    corals. My instructor said that I was really crazy underwater!

    I think we dived to a depth of 18 metres. The visibility was not that great - all blue with sediments all around. The corals and marine life were there - though not as abundant or as rich as I imagined. Or did I expect too much?!!


    One of the few corals in the shallower waters.

    Anyway, the dive was great. I truly love moving around underwater with my fins, making spins and reverse topside float. When I swim here and there I found it easier to control my buoyancy when it comes naturally. During the pool practices and initial exercises, it was really confusing trying to control how you float or sink. That's because doing it stationary was tougher that having it done dynamically.


    Now I know that I dive and swim with some of the equipments
    dangling around. Must ensure to tuck and keep it snug elsewhere.

    I dived and swim over and passed the corals - taking good care not to touch or harm these delicate creatures. It's easy to forget at times how much destruction you can inflict by a simple touch (not to mention the danger of making contact with something you know less of). All the time I tried hard to ensure the fins don't hit them or stir the bottom too much. And if I do need to touch anything, it will be just the sand.


    To be honest, I was not so concerned with peeking through the
    marine life at the time since I had so much fun swimming around!!!

    The pictures you seen here were taken with a Canon + the underwater housing. The blueish tint all over can be attributed to the camera's white balance control and the overall visibility and colour of the dive site. As I said the view was not that great. Hopefully my next few dives will be really spectacular. That being said: I think I will want to invest in a few underwater photographic tools in the future. Either I bought a housing for my current Canon Powershot A620 or just buy a new camera (plus the housing). Anyway I'll get this done!

    Anyway, having through all these exercises - I have earned myself my Open Water Scuba certification! Yup, I am a scuba diver now.


    A-OK!!!

    What awaits then, is more diving!!!

BlueFabian

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    • Name: Fabian
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    • Birthday: 4/26/1981
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 1/21/2006

Profile Info

  • Interests: Being curious and jovial, thinking of small little things that matter, finding the answer to life's simple queries and living my time in this heaven of mine
  • Occupation: Nurse

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